Q1 Sabbatical: 3 Month Sabbatical Review
3 months have flown by! Here are some reflections on my progress, learnings, what I've been reading, etc -- and what's next.
Context
It’s been 3 months / 90 days into my 1 year sabbatical. While I document some of the things I do on my sabbatical on instagram, I want to force myself to create space to reflect on the last few months at a time.
In the last couple years, when someone asked me “what have you been up to”, my brain would just go blank. I was doing so much, every single day and yet I couldn’t even remember what I did this past weekend. When I started my sabbatical, my biggest fear was that I would go through my entire year without remembering anything. So I started a little instagram account to document the things I did.
While the instagram account is fun for some to follow, writing daily notes and posting allowed me to realize why I couldn’t remember my past weekend. I was never giving myself a chance to plan or reflect. My life was simply happening to me. Don’t get me wrong - I had some amazing things happen to me but it didn’t feel like I was living my day to day life with intention. That’s what I wanted with my sabbatical.
Why I went on a sabbatical
I’m not sure I ever articulated what drove me to a wanting to do a sabbatical. TLDR: I was burnt out both professionally and personally. But here’s what that looked like for me:
I woke up on high cortisol mode, ready to go — because I was stressed about everything I had to get done that day.
I couldn’t consume news content. I wouldn’t have the emotional or mental bandwidth to process the events happening in the world (I recognize how privileged this is). I used to read articles and listen to podcasts but I just couldn’t get myself to do that and had to settle for headlines.
I was really anxious about work and life that I never watched new TV shows. I read somewhere that when people are anxious, they watch the same TV shows on repeat because the familiarity and knowledge of what’s coming is comforting. Well then…
I felt like I didn’t have any time at work to prioritize my growth.
I couldn’t remember the last time I lost track of time - when I was engrossed in an activity without checking the clock for when the next planned event is or wondering what’s on my to do list.
I think I needed time and space to even realize that this ^ is how I was feeling. But I’ve got 3 months of sabbatical under my belt and this is where I’m at:
Moments to highlights in months 1-3
Getting married! <3
Honeymooning in sicily
37 mile bike ride in Montreal with Saavan.
My little sister is engaged
Getting a new matching tattoo with my sister
Couple solo days to cafe + journal in Mexico City!
Spending a couple weeks in the bay with friends and family.
Learning a couple recipes from mom. Getting to be the cool older cousin I never had. Learning that my little cousins are not so little anymore. Being able to converse with my family in ways I couldn’t before because of age gaps and differences in where we were in the stages of life. I’m excited for the years to come <3
Progress that shows me the sabbatical is sabbaticaling.
I have the mental brain space to consume political content, podcasts, and new shows! I read somewhere that when you’re anxious you watch the same TV shows again and again and oh boy if that isn’t me.
I don’t wake up stressed or dreading the day.
I am less…annoyed, stressed, angry, and resentful about the world. I think the fact that I have agency over my life and time to not be rushed makes a huge difference in how I present myself in situations.
I found things that fill my “self care” cup. For me, self care doesn’t always having to be “slowing down”. I think that distinct difference between self care and being overwhelmed is that self care = doing something that is fulfilling to me. I can have a ridiculously busy day but as long as the activities I’m doing are intentional, fulfilling, and fun - I can run it back all day everyday ◡̈
Learnings from months 1-3:
I was surprised to discover that I didn’t find making TikTok videos fun. I have a bunch of content I’d like to post on TikTok, so I tried. However, it wasn’t fun. I didn’t find joy in chatting to the camera which is weird because I love to talk. It took me a while to realize that I enjoy conversing with people. I need human interaction, preferably in person.
I pivoted the goal of one of my side projects for my sabbatical. I am working on a project where I want to interview 100 South Asian women who are founders of businesses or aspire to be a future founder. My initial goal was to create a platform that could help accelerate their work with access to information, connection, and insights that small business owners need. However, I realized that I had way more fun learning from these founders and didn’t find creating the platform as fun. So I’m going to make this a research project instead and publish the results from my interviews with these 100 women!
I need to dedicate time and energy into (1) planning (2) executing and (3) reviewing my growth. I know it sounds corporate but this structure helps me prioritize myself. When I don’t do this (which is what happened the last few years of my life), I just live day after day. I do a lot….but at the end of month, I always have a feeling of “oh man, I wanted to go cherry picking this summer and now summer’s over and I haven’t gone once”. To combat this, I’ve adopted the following:
Every month, I have a template I fill out on what I want to do that month. This includes things I know keep me fulfilled and room for seasonal things
I try to calendar all the things I want to do into my google calendar first. That way, I have literally allocated time to do things I love.
When other plans come up, I try to see where they fit into my schedule. This…I haven’t been doing the greatest job at. But I’m making progress.
My life is inconsistent so “routines” don’t work well for me (even on a sabbatical). I travel waaaay too much to have any sort of exact routine or regiment. What is helpful for me instead is to find a way to make the most of a situation to do what benefits me. For example:
on travel days with long flights, I end up doing just one of my morning or night time skincare routines
I do yoga / go on walks when I don’t have access to weights for my usual strength training workouts
I can’t meditate/journal/reflect consistently at a specific time, but find some time in the day to do this, even if it’s mentally or through a conversation
I like writing about my life in a timely manner (every week / every month / quarter) instead of every day. Writing everyday feels like a chore because writing isn’t how I process my feelings. But writing once a week or less frequently feels joyful because it gives me the space to take my mulled thoughts and put them on paper. Like writing this blog forced me to review my photos, notes, and memories for the last 3 months and that brought so much joy.
I did enjoy the Stoic journal. I started the Daily Stoic Journal in 2024. I haven’t been entirely consistent, but did it on and off for multiple months. While I did learn somethings, what I enjoyed the most was carving out time to think. But I didn’t look forward to the prompt daily so I decided to give it up.
Things I’m proud of in months 1-3:
I keep a very loose journal, but I think the practice of journaling, reflecting, blogging has actually been one of the best things I’ve done in 2024.
Budgeting has helped Saavan and I deal with some big upcoming spending + savings. Loving the tool Monarch.
Getting into a skin care practice!
Setting up our home in Montreal to enjoy as much sunshine as possible! We have outdoor furniture for our patio (terrace) in the back and our little porch in the front ◡̈ And we event put up string lights!!
Making a few new friends in Montreal.
Doing things even though other people don’t get it. For example:
taking this sabbatical!
eloping and getting married
starting to read the Bhagavad Gita
Books I’ve read in months 1-3:
I very intentionally have not read anything related to work.
Kaikeyi - loved it
My grandmother would tell me parts of the entire Ramayana epic as bed time stories when I was a kid. The tale has a lot of tangents and branches that feed into the main story. However, almost all of the “rewritings” or “new storylines” were written by men. So I was thrilled that Kaikeyi was written by a South Asian woman author who brought other perspectives to an other wise masculine tale.
Daughters of Madurai - loved it
The Startup Wife - loved it
Here’s my review on instagram:
2 States - loved it
Reading this amidst wedding planning was perfect. Thank you to Saavan’s friend’s mom for the recommendation to read the book » movie!
Brave (still need to finish)
Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (still need to finish)
Sensitive Is the New Strong: The Power of Empaths in an Increasingly Harsh World (not sure how I feel about this one….)
TV shows / movies I’ve watched
Challengers - I loved this movie, would recommend!
Emily in Paris - I started watching this when I knew I was moving to Montreal. Not sure if it helped my transition to Montreal, but the show is fun and an easy watch. I appreciate the main character energy.
Children Ruin Everything - this is hilarious, especially in the stage of life Saavan and I are currently in.
Sex and the City - I found the show thoroughly fascinating and funny even though I don’t totally resonate with the show. I don’t think I’m the target audience, but I respect the show and the characters that were brought to life in that decade.
One Day - I found it interesting, but also a little monotonous. I haven’t finished it yet.
Love on the Spectrum - this is one of my favorite shows.
Small moments of joy in months 1-3:
Exploring a little comic book fair in the Plateau where we live in Montreal. Saavan won TWO cute stuffed animals with the claw machine. A claw machine!! I didn’t think those things worked at all. I was so happy. Their names are “sfouf” (like swoosh the sound of a wind but there’s a cafe named Sfouf in our neighborhood) and “Pot” (like at the end of a rainbow).
Wearing fall weather outfits in April and exploring the streets of Montreal.
Becoming a local in Messina, Sicily for the best pistachio cannolis I’ve ever had.
Painting my water bottle as my first art project to kick off the sabbatical
The eclipse! Montreal had a total eclipse ◡̈
Going to a sugar shack in Quebec and trying maple taffy over ice cream / ice. Yummm.
Fridays are clarified cocktail days in our home!
Being close enough to Saavan’s parents to visit and bother them! I love learning new recipes with his mom <3
Perfect sunny day in SF!
My uncle (a professor) being a part of the a dance routine by the Oakland Originalz in North Beach where he and 4 others get jump flipped over by a dancer ◡̈
Challenges in months 1-3:
People expect great things to come out of my sabbatical. When I tell people I’m on a 1 year sabbatical, their question is always, “wow that’s amazing, what’s the big plans”. And the truth is that I don’t have any big plans. The irony is that quite frankly, I was doing great things before my sabbatical. The goal of my sabbatical was for myself to feel better.
“Is this a travel sabbatical?” Nope. While I enjoy traveling and am doing quite a bit in my sabbatical, my sabbatical isn’t about traveling a lot.
While it’s nice to wake up without being anxious, that feeling has been replaced by a feeling of….being lost and not having a purpose. It’s hard to feel useful. But
I fail to enjoy the journey because I’m focused on the destination. This isn’t always a bad thing. It’s led me to some cool accomplishments. But my sabbatical gives me time to not have to focus on the end.
Goals for months 4-6
Telling myself more than you: stop trying to build a business / do something new, just stop. Just do things that are fun.
Continue creating content that makes me happy (blogs » TikToks)
Find and do the things that make me happy.
Understand the first 2 Chapters of the Bhagavad Gita
Brush up on Level 3 wine studying stuff
Continue the South Asian Women Founders Project by interviewing more people
Make time for seasonal activities
Summer = terrace season in Montreal, spending time outdoors
Food = seasonal fruits, dishes
Picnics
Jazz festival, fireworks
My 30th birthday!!
Side note: I’m finding it hilarious that the current 3 topics on my Spotify podcast playlist include:
Podcasts on wine
Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy
Podcasts on interpretations of the Bhagavad Gita
To be further diagnosed explored in the next 3 month recap blog!
— divs